I've been pondering this awhile, and finally have the courage to put it on the blog.
This might sound a bit odd, but I sort of think making friends as we get older is more difficult than when we were younger. I've lived here in Salina for 2 years now, and I enjoy it. It's a great town. I have a wonderful husband and an amazing marriage. I have A LOT to be thankful for.
But I don't have many girls who I'm friends with. Who I can just call up and go get an ice cream with. Or get together for a glass of wine, to unwind or just watch chick flicks.
When I was in Hays, I was really blessed to have a few good friends who I could call up and just bum around with. Who would get in line with me for the midnight release of Harry Potter Book 7. Who I taught CCD with once a week.
Here in Salina, I miss that so much. And it's not for a lack of trying! I tried to get involved with CCD at our church, but they are way more strict about the books/program they use (which makes me just gag ... it's SO watered down and just awful Catechesis, I can't bring myself to inflict it upon a second grader ... for example, they wanted me to teach either 2nd or 7th grade, and sent both books. I was flipping through one and said to Fr. Nick "This is for second grade, right" .... and it was the 7th grade book.). We've tried for 3 years to host Totus Tuus teams when they come through, but I've been told that since we don't have kids, we won't be considered. Ouch and ouch. Just really bums me out.
Meeting people through work ... well, I work by myself here in my residential studio. Yes, I have clients, but I would just feel plain uncomfortable saying "let's be friends" ... I feel lame somehow. Like at nearly 29 years old, I should HAVE friends and not NEED friends or something.
I really miss poker nights from Hays. It wasn't every week, but often, a good group of us would get together to get rowdy and lose money. It was a great time with some of my co-workers! And I miss it!
Don't get me wrong, I'm BLESSED with amazing friends. Who have carried me through the most difficult patches of my life. But my close, close friends all live elsewhere. Yeah, I can call, but conversations are often brief, if people even pick up the phone. Everyone has busy lives going on in their OWN towns.
I suppose this is something I could add to my "bucket list" ... to cultivate some good friendships here in town. Yes, I'm going to try to make more of an effort ...
6 comments:
I understand!! When we moved to Idaho, I realized that I hadn't had to make friends since I was a freshman in high school. After that, any friends I made just came into the group by someone else. It was really tough and I am still not sure I did a very good job at it. It was just, well, awkward the first few times I tried.
And can I just say that I think that it just sucks that they wouldn't let you host Totus Tuus because you don't have kids? Just straight up stinks :P
Good luck on your friend finding endeavor :)
Aw, hon...I understand. I am going to be starting over in Wichita... new to a place that is old to me. Different, but I know it will be challenging.
Have you thought about starting a book club at your church? Call it "woman's spiritual book club" or something more catch-y. You could read Catholic-y books, maybe those aimed at women? You could advertise it for "women in their 20s and 30s." I bet if you do all the "work," the church would let you advertise in the bulletin? Maybe meet every-other Tuesday or something? Everyone brings a drink and a snack to share??
Just a thought.
Sarah S.
First off, I agree with Sarah S - if that is something that interests you. It has been my dream to host a catholic book club (or even Bible study). There are so many good books out there and it is more fun to read them when you have someone to discuss them with! My problem is that I have kids and so I have to work around them and childcare is HARD TO FIND!! But some day I will figure this out - if nothing else, when Rebekah is old enough to babysit - hehe.
But on your thoughts about friends. . . I agree it is difficult to come up with new ones. Most of Gordie's & my friends graduated college and moved on from Hays. I still have a lot of people I consider my friends - my close friends - unfortunately they live all across the US (and even in some foreign countries). So when you figure out the secret to being social, let me know! :)
does salina have any gardening clubs? wine club? a book club is a good idea too. start with a common interest. or you can just move to wichita ; )
i agree that making friends is hard. i only socialize with family and old friends. and since most have kids, that puts new challenges on hanging out.
Thans, girls! I was feeling a bit like a loser posting that I need new friends in my town, but I guess it's more common than I thought.
I am liking the book club ... but I like the wine club even MORE. :) I'll have to look into it.
Heck, if nothing else, I know there's a quilting group, but in Indy, it was all 70+ year old women. And while I love them and value the friends I made, I'm looking for a peer group, ya know?
Oh Karen! I can TOTALLY understand your plight! It's hard to make friends... especially good ones. And especially as an adult, it's just downright awkward sometimes!
I agree with Mary - move to Wichita :-P
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